Junkie

The shot, the hit, the rush

the bliss

the nod.

The frenzy and the money moves and the terror of sick.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

“Where’d you go?

We miss you so

Seems like forever

Since you’ve been gone…”

The shot, the hit, the rush

Bliss

The boy who texted poetic

who longs to love a girl who loves him back

Who wants a family

And a home to come home to…

Where are you?

~sja 9/2019

Disruption

My dog is dreaming

kicking legs and rocking me

while I lie awake

wondering where I failed

Planning where to go from here

how to help you build trust in someone else

because we can repair

but the damage isn’t done

and probably can’t be undone.

You are still valuable

And deserve every possible chance.

And it is my job to say it out loud

in the gentlest possible way

that I can’t help you.

I can’t convince you to do the work.

I’m the mom you turn to when you are mad at yours

which is still an honor.

But I can’t help you

because I don’t know heroin.

~sja 9/2019