My dog is dreaming

kicking legs and rocking me

while I lie awake

wondering where I failed

Planning where to go from here

how to help you build trust in someone else

because we can repair

but the damage isn’t done

and probably can’t be undone.

You are still valuable

And deserve every possible chance.

And it is my job to say it out loud

in the gentlest possible way

that I can’t help you.

I can’t convince you to do the work.

I’m the mom you turn to when you are mad at yours

which is still an honor.

But I can’t help you

because I don’t know heroin.

~sja 9/2019

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